WASHINGTON — The origins of the brain-eating Naegleria fowleri amoeba which has struck in America have been tracked down to a property around Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington.
“Typically the symptoms displayed by any person carrying the amoeba around in their skull would involve acting in a completely irrational and aggressive manner, because their brain was being slowly eaten away.
“We will now investigate further to see which resident living in the target location fits this pattern of behaviour.”
When he was informed about the amoeba, Donald Trump commented: “Pennsylvania Avenue? Gee, that’s where I live. I wonder who the host carrier might be?”
Mr Trump said he knew a lot of people in Washington who displayed signs of irrational behaviour.
“Basically they’re all folks who disagree with me. Why can’t they just accept that I am a brilliant genius,” he reasoned.
Mr Trump added that on reflection he thought the most likely carrier of the amoeba was Vice President Mike Pence.
“Mike’s a nice guy, but basically I’m bored and looking for any excuse to sack him – so this will do nicely.
“I need a Vice President with intellectual kudos. I think I’ll ask Kim Kardashian if she’d like the job.”