WESTMINSTER — Boris Johnson, the man who proudly proclaimed to the nation in March that he was ‘still shaking hands with everybody’ before subsequently contracting Covid-19, has blamed the recent spike in new cases on people getting ‘a bit kind of complacent’.
The PM managed to make the claim with an almost straight face, pausing only to give that kind of guilty-school-boy half-grin he employs when struggling to give an answer to simple questions such as, ‘Did you honestly think boasting about shaking hands at a time when you were telling the rest of the country to abide by rules was a good idea? What made you think walking into a fridge wouldn’t come back to bite you on the arse?’ and ‘Are you lying?’
Following the interview with the BBC, scientists reported ‘irony levels so high the Russians are thinking of bottling it for use in ridding the world of dissenters.’
Asked whether he thought that his early slapdash keep-a-stiff-upper-lip-and-coronavirus-will-just-go-away attitude to the pandemic was in any way responsible for the apathy that some Brits have shown towards government imposed restrictions, Mr Johnson said he didn’t think so and that he hoped the British people would understand that he only broke his own rules in a ‘limited and specific way’ in order to test his eyesight.