Kanye West Wing! Presidential hopes hit buffers, White House toilets too small for Kim Kardashian’s planetary arse
WASHINGTON — US Rapper Kanye West has announced his intentions to stand against his role model Donald Trump and become the second dumbest President in history. He has been endorsed by Kim Kardashian and entrepreneur crackpot, Elon Musk.
An insider from his entourage confirmed: “Yes, it’s true but his intentions have created more confusion than that performance at Glastonbury. He’s been obsessed with becoming President since he saw the West Wing as a kid and of course wants to have the Kanye West Wing.”
He announced his intentions via Twitter: “We must now realize (sic) the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future,” he tweeted. “I am running for president of the United States!”
It is felt that Kanye West would make a great President, he’s never off Twitter, never read a book and mad as a box of frogs, all of which makes him ripe for satire.
However, there are a few issues — he hasn’t recorded his intentions to become President with the Federal Election Committee. But, more importantly, his wife Kim’s arse famously broke the internet and the Whitehouse is a listed building and unable to grant planning permission to fit supersized toilets and extend doors.
The same insider was as miffed as everyone else: “Let’s face it, to say ‘I am running for president of the United States!’ could mean he’s running to McDonald’s to get Trump’s Big Mac Meal.”