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Kanye West Wing! Presidential hopes hit buffers, White House toilets too small for Kim Kardashian’s planetary arse
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Cher gives birth to 93rd child in Sacramento McDonald’s restroom
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Britain’s roads no longer safe for lesbians says, Sir Cliff Richard
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Fury as NHS spends £20,000 on mask for Olly Murs’s big face
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New track and trace app will seal up the rectums of users until they explode says, Amanda Holden
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CONFIRMED: Ming the Merciless added new console buttons for 2020
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My keyboard warrior son has to ask me to get the lids off jars, says local woman
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’10 Facebook avatars that have most influenced your life’ to be next Facebook craze
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Twitter’s strict new policy means you will only get banned if you kill somebody
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Couple forced to scrap wedding plans after their engagement announcement only managed 5 likes on Instagram
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