LANCASHIRE — A couple from Burnley in England have been forced to cancel their wedding plans after their engagement announcement on their joint Instagram account only received five likes; one of which was an unclickable broken spam link purportedly meant for a make-up tutorial.

Speaking exclusively to Daily Dafty, the couple said this morning: “This is a sure sign that we should probably call the whole thing off. 5 likes is ridiculous.”

Although it’s been nearly 24 hours since 21-year-old Penny Smith posted a smiling selfie with her boyfriend Gordon Jones, 27, to announce their engagement, the post has racked up fewer likes than the blurry photo she posted of her cat the night before, making it pretty obvious that this relationship is doomed.

With her eyes leaking happy tears and her showing off her huge rock, she told Daily Dafty: “An engagement announcement like this one should be able to clear 250 likes, no problem, but the fact that it hasn’t even managed 10 is a definite red flag.”

Gordon went on to say: “Such a pitiful response might make sense if we had only, like, 30 followers, but seeing that Penny has 895 of them, the only explanation is that no one likes us and we’d be much better off parting ways.”

What Daily Dafty says:
Face it; if your friends and family can’t even muster the enthusiasm to respond to your engagement post, then you have no business getting married. Calling it off would probably provide a great deal of relief for Penny and Gordon because frankly, it doesn’t seem like anyone they’d invite to their wedding would come anyway.