ICE STATION EARTH — A Mongo insider has revealed that His Excellence, Emperor Ming, has refurbished his Disaster Console for 2020 and has once again targeted the Earth as his plaything.
Ming began adding updated buttons in 2016, his favourite reportedly one which simply said ‘Trump’. It is rumoured this button has been jammed in the ‘on’ position since a crumb of toast fell between the button and the console during a Zoom meeting with Boris Johnson.
SpaceX spokesperson Ivor Rocket has said that the company is now working with Dr. Hans Zarkov, formerly of NASA, in an effort to plot a course to planet Mongo to confront Mr. The Merciless ‘once and for all’.
“Given his age, we were reluctant to consult with Dr. Zarkov,” said Rocket, “but where are we going to find a harebrained, narcissistic, ego-maniac here at SpaceX?”
The plan however has currently hit a wall with Flash Gordon’s confirmation that he has suffered too many concussions playing American Football to consider a second Mongo trip and, when asked, his ex-wife Dale Arden simply replied, “Why don’t you ask Princess Aura?” before flouncing out of the room.
Prince Vultan of the Hawkmen has also ruled himself out of a second uprising as he is angling for another guest-host spot on Have I Got News for You?
The Dafty was unable to confirm the rumours that Ming has also added ‘Brexit Round 2’, ‘Covid 2nd Wave’, and ‘Corbyn Rises Again’ to his console and is poised to push these in the coming months.