Chris Grayling has reported his twin brother missing after a full-length mirror in the House of Commons toilet was removed.
He told reporters that prior to his election as MP for Epsom and Ewell in 2001, he wasn’t even aware that he had an identical twin and described as ‘joyous’ the moment that he first went to the gents and found his estranged sibling standing guard.
‘He never said a word,’ Grayling added, ‘but he was always there just watching over me and willing me not to piss down the front of my own trousers. And there were three occasions that his good vibes worked and I managed to get almost all of it either in the urinal or on the floor.’
A spokesman for the House of Commons maintenance team said they have promised to do everything in their power to help Mr Grayling find his brother and that they hope to find him by Thursday afternoon as they’re ‘busy installing a new mirror in the morning.’