Pop icon, Sir Cliff Richard, last night slammed Britain’s Department of Transport for failing to deal adequately with what he sees as the crisis on Britain’s roads with regard to the disproportionate number of lesbian deaths.
Speaking at a virtual rally watched by millions of elderly fans online, the Peter Pan of Pop, said: “Every year in Britain, thousands of people are run over and it stands to reason that quite a few are lesbians.
“Until this inequality and bigotry towards the lesbian minority is stamped out we can no longer call ourselves a functioning democracy.
“I’m calling upon the Transport Secretary to ensure that our lezzas are given adequate protection from road traffic accidents before they become endangered like red squirrels.
“Perhaps they could be given extra tuition on road safety and be issued with hi-viz Doc Martens and dungarees or something along those lines.”
Sir Cliff’s dramatic plea comes just a week after Emma Bunton out of the Spice Girls called for a public enquiry into the number of Do-It-Yourself-related fatalities among the country’s bum boy contingent.
Sir Cliff requested that his fee for this interview is donated to the Dominic Cummings Retirement Home For Instinct-Following Lying Bastards.